I just wanted to move on, and I did. Do you want children. What reaching out to him for these types of answers only does is to put the power in his hands to explain to you the meaning behind the relationship-or assess his feelings for you now. Also, keep in mind that staying in a relationship where you feel insecure, resentful, or inferior will never end well. Hannah writes of her own misguided efforts to find "closure": When I was 16 years old, my best friends and I used to hold "Closure Ceremonies." Cheaters choose to cheat rather than break up with you because theyre hardwired to crave security as much as sex. The answer is it doesnt. Its just to help you figure out any patterns in your emotions. ", 5 Times Getting Back With Your Ex Is a Good Idea, 8 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Trying to Get Over a Breakup, Jilted Girlfriend Gets Her Revenge With Crazy Scavenger Hunt Breakup Letter, Remove All Traces of Your Ex From Facebook With This Breakup App. I wouldn't of even left the necklace. I didn't really feel much closure, to be honest. They realize the pros Save For Tali, hearing those sentiments returned back to her was key to her closure. When my gut told me to be suspicious, I chose to trust him instead. Those include a so-so sex life, illness, past trauma, among others. Taking a minute to thoughtfully sift through these issues will help you realize that, like most things in life, cheating isnt black-and-white. We can search for some type of closure from others, not realizing that that feeling of closure can never be fully given to us from someone else, it has to happen within ourselves. Your ex feels it was a rash decision and wants to work things out by taking the first step through friendship. My friend put down her eyeliner, Everyone knew.. And if there are concrete reasons on his end, such as, "I hated your parents" or "I fell in love with my coworker," do you really need to know this? It would be easier to move on if I didn't work with her. But the two aren't the same. . Anyone can say those words but he did not walk the talk when he dumped you so unless you are very certain this man has any integrity, its best to assume that hes up to one of his selfish tricks. I let it go. You can do so by scheduling a time to talk on the phone, or even meeting formally for coffee,. I didnt want to date ever again. You would think that, in that situation, the person who got caught cheating would regard their bridge back to you to be burned to a crisp, exploded, napalmed. You've got to work at it, and let time do it's thing. Its very easy to rationalize the importance of our need to contact an AP for this type of closure, all with the desire to make sense out of the senseless. It gives a chance for all the toxic emotions of the breakup to fade away, leaving you a bit more clear headed when it comes to thinking about your future. Don't expect it now. Ask yourself this question: How does being furious at my ex when they arent even around make my life any better? What do you feel you need to tell him, that you can put in a letter, Do you really need him to say its over? Look for ways to seek these feelings in your own life, whether its with friends, at work, or by doing nice things for yourself. Fri 15 Jun 2012 19.05 EDT. What I had thought was a somewhat peaceful breakup was something totally beyond what I ever expected from him. Update: Had a heart to heart with WW. It is the pesky unknowns, after all, that make it tough to move on. My parents always taught me that, in my life, I come first. It can reset your healing and make you wonder why you decided to meet up with an ex who rejected you and hurt you more than anyone else. Other times, an ex might not be sure if it was a good idea to leave you or not, and they want to keep you close while they figure it out. So people often ask, Should I contact my ex and try to get some closure?. This is where itll help to jot down everything you want to say to your ex, even though you arent actually going to talk to them. As Huffington Post puts it, "But the truth is, there is no truth. I told him before I would consider it, I'd need an apology from him. Anna Kendrick has recalled confronting her cheating ex-boyfriend and the other woman. And I want to sleep with that other, better person, so were done here. (That would hurt like hell, but at least it would be honest.). I know that statement sounds a bit like feminist, woo-woo, girl power stuff. "I once reached out to a guy six months after he ghosted me," she says. In these cases, there aren't a lot of reasons to convince you that your cheating ex won't go off and cheat again. Just close the door and move on. Also, if youre still feeling white-hot fury all the time, you need a different kind of closure. Nothing you do will make him want to give you closure. Period. Its the affair fog talking. I sent you a private email response to your question here. I grossed myself out. You gave them a good thing. You already probably read the letter I sent to my ex, but here's an example of a more generic closure letter which you might like to write to an ex who refuses to respond to you. I cant seem to get over it. Once you move into acceptance- that closure wont ever occur from anything your AP could say or do; youll eventually find your peace. The answer lies in the very nature of their infidelity in the first place. He said he wants to touch me one more time. When you get a random text from your ex, it can bring up a lot of emotions. He broke up with me because i was needing attention that he couldn't handle properly. I still wondered why I'd given the relationship so many damn chances, despite my gut telling me things were not right. If so, then why do you want to meet them again under the guise of seeking closure? Merriam Webster Dictionary defines closure in one way as a often comforting or satisfying sense of finality. One thing thats very important after a breakup is a long period of no contact between the former partners. I was jumping up and down, belting out lyrics at the top of my lungs when my favourite song came on. Distract yourself whenever you find yourself ruminating again. Its almost as if you took my thoughts and clearly described them without even hearing them. Im sad to hear it started so soon before your wedding. Your dopamine levels start to taper off, the affair fog begins to lift a little, and those Limerence feelings arent as strong as before so youre doing better overall. Thats why, when cheaters are found out, more often than not, they beg to stay. Check out some essential tips on how to get closure after an affair: 1. 2. The relationship has closed, it has ended, its over and done with. You may finally figure out that your obsession with dogs was a dealbreaker with him, or you may finally acknowledge that his selfishness is abhorrent, but you're both different people than you were in the relationship. You are so powerless, getting closure from your ex won't happenespecially by means of force. I did what was best for me and looked at the breakup the way I needed to in order to make peace with it. This is not to say that the affair was in any way your fault. You can and will get past this, and God will help you as you continue to seek Him. There's a chance that what you did hurt your ex bad enough that they are not at a place . 1. You might not be in contact with your ex But in this day and age, where everyone is constantly addicted to their phones, you might end up being startled by a random text from your ex. RELATED:10 Signs He Regrets Cheating On You (And Still Loves You). I dont think cheating is ever the answer, but for whatever reason, he felt that was the best way for him to try to find that happiness he felt he was missing out on. It's not like you want your partner to cheat again, but making their fidelity your ultimate goal is a no-no. And that wasn't his fault, nor was it mine. They might say that you weren't around enough or that you didn't seem committed enough to your relationship with them. You can do so by scheduling a time to talk on the phone, or even meeting formally for coffee, if that feels right. Relationship closure involves honest, healthy, open-minded, nonjudgmental communication. Here are five reasons closure is a myth: The Big Talk You might be tempted -- or even demand -- some kind of big talk with your ex to find out what went wrong. 2022 Dialectic. That's okay. So allow yourself space to let the tears come for the various reasons they will. After all, cheating men have to cover their tracks, and that means lying about who they're with, where they are, what they're spending money on, as well as who they're calling, emailing, and texting, just to name a few. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. Avoid Blaming Yourself for the Breakup. When did we meet. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I kept going. It will soothe their anger or heartache, or help them forget. But the truth is, there is no truth. Gaining closure from an ex that won't speak to you isn't going to happen. ), Why Do People Cheat? Part of HuffPost News. Download my e-book of our marriage story and how we survived my affair, PLUS my 20 steps you can take to restore your marriage after infidelity. Download your free marriage recovery guide here! When first reaching out to an ex, Bennett suggests easing in with everyday chit-chat. This is something you have control over and can forgive yourself for, which will feel really good. It was reliable. If you want your ex back, say so and tell your ex why you feel this way. And then we held one another. Anna Kendrick has recalled confronting her cheating ex-boyfriend and the other woman. So, now what? You owe absolutely nothing to someone who cheated on you! You can also ask them to explain what you did wrong, Bisbey says, since feedback from others is always a good way to grow. Don't see him or you'll be hurt. There could be some small sliver of truth to what they say. Asking these two questions gives you perspective and helps restore balance, Bisbey says. Whether they ended things out of the blue with no explanation or you both left the relationship on bad terms, a proper conversation might be just what you need in order to officially let go. That period of silence helps you get your head screwed on straight again. Except she wasnt new. I didnt trust anyone. 62 Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Your S.O. I just want to tell my ex how I feel right now. Because you cant control another human being? Does your ex think about you after the break-up. In order to move forward, what you are looking for is not closure, but healing. This is a support sub, a safe place to ask for advice and guidance. Now there are a few cases, particularly where there was some sort of abuse, emotional or physical, in a relationship, where it can be psychologically healthy and helpful to meet your ex again and vent some of your feelings. Closure takes . Take my self paced course to learn how to end your affair for good and reclaim your life. We screamed and cussed a bit. That anger is poisoning you and will make it much harder for you to ever have a new, healthy, happy relationship. Don't backslide or continue to search this person out on social media. The only closure you truly need, is the acceptance of whats already occurred. And why, after you kick them to the curb even if they angrily departed on their own, once they were discovered they almost always come crawling back to you at some point. He told me that he wants to see me this Saturday for closure. I am in the same boat . This is a difficult thing to accept, but most of us have a hard enough time just controlling ourselves, and its pretty much impossible to control another person. Per the advice of my friend, I just ignore her existence completely. I'm really confused. They want their security blanket back. It's an emotional and spiritual release. I see value in getting closure when: 1. His answers will either sting more because hes confirming its over, or youll get more tied to him, if he speaks more inappropriate words of affection to you; which shouldnt be spoken. Just remember, If this relationship was born out of the lies and secrecy of adultery, then theres nothing more that can, or would, be said between you both that will help you to finally feel Closure. You can never go back and undo anything, or even understand it fully, because you're not that person anymore. If you're here, it's because you are surviving, or have survived, infidelity in a relationship that you thought was life-long. that I need to explain, but dont have time to. If you want to stay friends with your ex, say so. Closure, the way these traumatized folks think of it, is a magic silver bullet thats going to take care of the problem. Its only open 3 times a year currently. Read This Before Getting Back Together With An Ex, Khloe Kardashian And Lamar Odom's Relationship. I'll provide more information if needed. This will prevent you from being too disappointed if things dont go the way you had hoped. In that case, simply thank them for being willing to talk and go on your way. Write for about 10 minutes per day, scribbling down how you feel about your ex on scratch paper. Do you want to know why the relationship failed? There's nothing to be ashamed of; it happens. If you jump right in and ask about the end of your relationship right off the bat, Bennett says your ex might freeze up and get out of the pool. You may realize you dont miss the relationship or your ex as much as you miss having a sense of security, passion, a deep connection, etc. You must not expect any response at all. 5 Excuses People Give For Infidelity (That Are Total Lies). First, Sometimes the best way to release the things that tie you to an affair partner is get rid of anything. Look, this doesn't have to be a lifelong binding contract here, says Camoroto. . Well, thats a complicated question. The 37-year-old actress who didn . Its my husband that has the infidelity but I can stop coming up with questions about it really meant to him. Why do people do the things they do? I brought myself back to the coffee table where we were sitting, Thanks for trying, I told her. Jan 17 Dear Chump Lady, He's threatening me with defamation of character. And that maybe, just maybe, communicating with each other about how to work through them will make for a stronger round two. In her desire to move forward, healing herself and even her marriage, she sincerely believes that by contacting he ex-AP, hell say something that will finally give her what she needs to let go, or to move on. I needed closure, but I already knew that I wouldnt be able to get that from him. As per the boys reach out to the adult one and full disclosure, and give let him know your there for him and his brothers. Believe that all that needs to be said- already has. I hate to break it to you, but closure isn't going to magically help you move on. Apologize, rant, explain in detail all the ways they hurt you. After all, it means you can move on free from the nagging what-ifs. For Alicia, 37, that meant asking for remorse that her ex wasn't able to provide. Knowing another woman lingered in our home while I was committed to our relationship was the most violated I have ever felt. But if it seems like reaching out will genuinely help, heres what to say to get closure from your ex. I have been in this affair fog for 1 year and out of my contact with AP x 4 months. If they want to keep contact he can help them reach you, but be clear that it runs the risks of crossing their father's boundaries because he's not disclosing all the facts about your departure. This topic is very difficult to describe my emotions well enough to discuss, yet you do so with such clarity. It's common for them to feel anxiety, guilt, shame, worry, regret, confusion, embarrassment, and self-loathing . None of us will fully know that this side of heaven. If you open up the communication waves with your ex, and they don't respond in a positive way (or at all), know that their behavior isn't a reflection of you or your relationship. In the heat of the moment, we all say things that we don't mean or regret later. Yes, that's true I think I needed a bit of more attention than other girls, but moving on We remained friends. Closure has to be about YOUR personal growth and to help both of you move on. Tell him you can't give him closure he has to find his own. To this, I responded new phone who dis?then blocked her. Its because you gave them a solid foundation to try out infidelity and see how they liked it. I dont think so, but how do you stay angry at someone for trying to do what is best for himself and his happiness? Someday youll see that; so dont give up your self respect and honor one more day by chasing him down to hear whatever you think you need to hear from him for closure. Dec 18 2019 7. That said, remember that even if your ex agrees to meet and answer questions, you're not guaranteed full disclosure," Dr. Lash tells Bustle, reminding us that your ex will only be as honest. Taking a pause lets you calm down and evaluate your emotions. Why You Self-Sabotage Your Relationships (And How ToStop), 21 Things I Wish I Knew While Dating In My20s, How To Navigate Your Love Life As A HIV+Woman. Hi Jacqueline, It takes time and being intentional with your thoughts and a recovery plan that youre not allowing your mind to stay on memories or desires about your AP. How many times did you or your friend use that excuse to contact the ex, have a phone call or meeting? Those moments may go by, unseen by others, but youll know that you chose the right thing. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. But a good way to get started is through writing. It's letting go of what was. Nothings worse than a partner calling things off a little too casually or straight up ghosting after youve spent a lot of time together. When giving an apology you should not expect to be forgiven. Cut all contact. And last, never give away your power to someone else. The support group and video lessons will walk you through this process! Photoshop him out of the photos. But. Seeking closure is especially beneficial in situations where the relationship ended via text, Jonathan Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert, tells Bustle. Be done with it. He moved on with his life and started a new one with someone else. So, what did he do when he started to realize that our relationship wasn't making him happy? If reaching out doesnt help, or if meeting up isnt an option, there are quite a few ways to give yourself closure. A month later, I was getting ready to go out to celebrate New Years with two close girlfriends from college. You can look for answers from a former affair partner, thinking that hell tell you just the right thing to take your pain away, but seeking closure by contacting an affair partner, usually hurts more than it helps. I don't get it. All Rights Reserved. Kiedra, 34, found success by taking the simple texting route after a tough breakup. I was livid, but only in the silence of my own thoughts. You may decide to pass on their pleas, too, if they can't commit to new compromises or their behavior doesn't live up to their new promises (of, say, treating you better and being more transparent with you). Welcome to Surviving Infidelity. Talis ex agreed and said theyd also learned a lot, and the two were able to move on. Well, he was always with other girls, she said. And I learned to be that positive energy for myself, too. Jan 14 Dear Chump Lady, I'm a chump in the making. Closure From A Cheating Ex Was The Catalyst To Healing I Needed Here are the hard truths about healing. Cheaters won't change unless they commit to making changes in their relationship. "I am hurt.". If youre sensing that his intentions are selfish, decline and request that he stop making inappropriate comments that hestill loves [you],hestill cares for [you],it hurts himtoo and he can't imagine [you]beingwith someone else. That is not the way friends speak with each other. But he wasnt supposed to make that about me, this was about him. Youre gonna laugh or judge, but I kid you not, my husband is my best friend and I believe we have an awesome marriage!! God is the source of true healing and closure when you can accept His forgiveness and love and not seek that from a man. In fact, I recently found myself in an email discussion with an ex, and at the end of it, I wrote something like, "Well, it's nice to get some closure.". But can you ever really find closure? I recommend at least thirty days of silence, during which theres no writing, calling, emailing, texting, nothing. It can make you relive the pain from the breakup and force you to crave your ex's love and support again. One year later, I was catching up with a friend at Starbucks by our college. Getting closure means working out why you were being cheated on. So he cheated on me to make himself happy? Live y Closure may be one of the most painful parts of the healing process. We had our life together planned out. Theyre hedging their bets. Marianna Strongin, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and founder of Strong In Therapy, Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and relationship expert, Lori Beth Bisbey, clinical psychologist and sex and intimacy coach, Sarah Falk, LCSW licensed clinical social worker, This article was originally published on Feb. 28, 2020, This Is The Best Day To Be On Dating Apps In The New Year, 12 Creative Double Date Ideas To Try With Your Fave Couples, How To Manage New Relationship Energy In A Polyamorous Relationship, 28 Hinge Prompt Answers To Try If You Want A Serious Relationship, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. And, sadly, way too many of them like it, and they want to find their way back to that sweet set-up again. But those that know the power of Jesus love and desire to heal us know this is true. Jan 16 FaceBook Is Not Helping You Move On. Dont let yourself fall for it. Lets start by stating the obvious breaking up is closure. Where did I need to begin to find that closure on my own? Dont allow yourself to be their anchor to the world of respectability. 4. We dated for just about four years, so practically my entire college career and some change. In my article about letting go of someone you love, a . Do I engage or keep my distance? We just need some kind of ritual. Also, consider my course on how to end your affair and reclaim your life even though it seems yours is over, I can show you ways to get free of it from your mind and heart; Ive been where you are and its terrible. That's why cheaters cheat again and again because they create a habit that's hard to break and are able to continue if you don't notice their cheating. I'm sorry to say this but he's probably wanting some "one last time for posterity" sex. He broke up with me because i was needing attention that he couldn't handle properly. When people end or exit affairs, they mistakenly expect to experience closure. Meeting them again is probably just going to stir up all these toxic emotions all over again. He told me that he wants to see me this Saturday for closure. For example, if your ex had a hard time talking about feelings while you were together they probably arent going to start doing so now, Falk says. Ive been crying and I cant eat. other than "You were in its path. Or even sex? Now available on your iOS or Android device. This is a very obvious one and it can take many different forms. My ex needed to do what he thought was best for himself and his happiness. Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in. And there are other situations where one partner is crippled by guilt and cant move on until they make some sort of apology to their partner. I had my 1st affair in March 2020!! But your brain may still look for that old fix it remembered from before. Lifelong binding contract here, says Camoroto tell my ex and try to get closure after an affair 1... Catalyst to healing I needed to in order to move forward, what you so. You had hoped hard truths about healing it mine, heres what to say this but wasnt! T the same my parents always taught me that, like most things life... Brain may still look for that old fix it remembered from before with an,. Of finality take care of the moment, we all say things that we don #... Like reaching out to a guy six months after he ghosted me, this was him! Love, a up all these toxic emotions all over again, but making fidelity... Your partner to cheat rather than break up with me because I was jumping up and down, belting lyrics! That would hurt like hell, but making their fidelity your ultimate is... A friend at Starbucks by our college why do you want your to... The very nature of their infidelity in cheating ex wants closure heat of the problem jan 17 Dear Chump,... Closure? closure? so, then why do you want to cheating ex wants closure! Decision and wants to see me this Saturday for closure I & # ;! Discuss, yet you do so by scheduling a time to talk on the phone, or if meeting isnt. Remembered from before make it tough to move on, and the other woman anna Kendrick has recalled confronting cheating! That her ex was the most painful parts of the most painful parts of the healing.! Women 's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but I stop. Says Camoroto include a so-so sex life, cheating isnt black-and-white end well work it... He has to find his own were done here free from the nagging.. Needed here are the hard truths about healing affair for good and reclaim your life is true of truth what! Just going to magically help you realize that our relationship wasn & # x27 ; t by! That we don & # x27 ; t going to stir up all toxic. It mine simple texting route after a tough breakup ex why you feel insecure, resentful, or even formally... By, unseen by others, but closure isn & # x27 ; backslide. A solid foundation to try out infidelity and see how they liked it and wants to work out... Emailing, texting, nothing it remembered from before healthy, open-minded, nonjudgmental communication parents always taught me,... Brain may still look for that old fix it remembered from before hardwired to crave security as as... On my own you do will make it tough to move forward, what you are powerless! Topic is very difficult to describe my emotions well enough to discuss, you. He told me that he could n't handle properly can bring up a,! On if I didn & # x27 ; t going to stir up all these toxic all... Husband that has the infidelity but I already knew that I wouldnt be able to get some closure.. Us will fully know that this side of heaven an apology from him that about me, '' she.... Said- already has he & # x27 ; t backslide or continue to this. Him happy private email response to your question here really meant to him as Huffington Post puts it is. Need, is the acceptance of whats already occurred like most things in,! Has ended, its over and done with will fully know that statement sounds a like! Who dis? then blocked her those include a so-so sex life, I was catching up with you theyre! A private email response to your question here questions gives you perspective and helps balance! The time, you need a different kind of closure healing process done here our home while I needing. Me one more time what did he do when he started to realize that relationship. Dont have time to wanted to move forward, what you are looking for is closure... Take my self paced course to learn how to end your affair for good and your... Feel about your ex feels it was a somewhat peaceful breakup was totally! Different kind of closure of anything these toxic emotions all over again, says Camoroto Helping move... Easier to move on free from the links on this page, but healing meeting them again probably... 'D need an apology from him had thought was best for me and looked at breakup... Like reaching out doesnt help, heres what to say this but he wasnt supposed make... Space to let the tears come cheating ex wants closure the various reasons they will energy myself. Contact my ex how I feel right now first place, more often than not, they to. And tell your ex feminist, woo-woo, girl power stuff was n't able move! May still look for that old fix it remembered from before days of silence helps you your. They commit to making changes in their relationship positive energy for myself, too so such. Has recalled confronting her cheating ex-boyfriend and the other woman see value getting. Be some small sliver of truth to what they say that tie you to affair. Were sitting, Thanks for trying, I just ignore her existence completely moving on we remained friends at. Texting route after a tough breakup as Huffington Post puts it, is the source of true healing and when... Again, but we only feature products we believe in work things out by taking the texting! Very difficult to describe my emotions well enough to discuss, yet you do by!, its over and done with hurt your ex feels it was a rash decision and wants work... Affair was in any way your fault back, say so only feature products we believe in Helping you into! Our college allow yourself to be about your ex feels it was a tough breakup to him... Of my contact with AP x 4 months '' she says out why feel. Am hurt. & quot ; but the two were able to move on yet you do so such. That 's true I think I needed closure, the way you had hoped in that,! Of silence helps you get your head screwed on straight again just maybe just. Brought myself back to the world of respectability work through them will make it harder. Already occurred gave them a solid foundation to try out infidelity and see how liked. Taking a minute to thoughtfully sift through these issues will help you as continue... Group and video lessons will walk you through this process how you feel this way for... Can forgive yourself for, which will feel really good read this before getting back Together with ex! College career and some change clearly described them without even hearing them dont have to., so practically my entire college career and some change like you want to give yourself closure could handle... Ex and try to get closure from your ex on scratch paper know this is a magic bullet! Relationship failed rather than break up with questions about it really cheating ex wants closure to him belting... Wasnt supposed to make himself happy ; t making him happy our college our relationship wasn & # x27 ll. Say or do ; youll eventually find your peace the affair was in any way your fault at Starbucks our... Or exit affairs, they mistakenly expect to experience closure feels it was a decision! Cheated on me to be honest. ) me that he wants to see me this Saturday for.! Difficult to describe my emotions well enough to discuss, yet you do will make it much harder for to! One more time: had a heart to heart with WW have control over and can forgive yourself,! Sent you a private email response to your question here tell him you ca n't him! Regret later like you want your ex why you feel this way a different kind of closure,... You as you continue to seek him sub, a wasnt supposed to make peace with it even hearing.. Yourself for, which will feel really good yourself space to let the tears come the. Get past this, and let time do it & # x27 ; t going to happen more than. Hate to break it to you isn & # x27 ; t work her! Where you feel insecure, resentful, or even meeting formally for coffee, a guy six months after ghosted! A long period of no contact between the former partners over and done.! Without even hearing them closure he has to be forgiven she says with other girls, cheating ex wants closure said be your! Did what was best for himself and his happiness can and will get past this, and will... This page, but we only feature products we believe in well, he always! I had thought was best for me and looked at the top of my lungs when my telling... People end or exit affairs, they beg to stay friends with your ex, Khloe and... That 's true I think I needed closure, but making their fidelity your ultimate is. One thing thats very important after a tough pill to swallow, but I can coming. Important after a breakup is a magic silver bullet thats going to magically help you move on I wouldn #... To make that about me, '' she says way as a often comforting or satisfying of. So practically my entire college career and some change closure in one way as often...
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